Reflective writing

The day I decided to write about was Saturday 5^th of March 2011, the day of the last performance of Cinderella with Ballet Theatre UK because I felt it was quite a unique day in the tour and was worth writing about in more detail.

Description : What happened?, What where the main events?, Where and When?

Saturday 5^th March 2011 at Melton Theatre in Melton Mowbray. I left at 11.30 to drive from my house to the theatre. Class was at 4.30 and was obviously our last one; we had some people in taking company class. I did the last performance of Cinderella with Ballet Theatre UK,  my role was Cinderella; the show was at 7:30pm. I then attended an after party for the whole cast.

Initial Reflection : What did you feel about it? What were you thinking? Did anything unexpected happen? What was your mood?

I was really excited to do that performance from the morning because it was our last performance of Cinderella but I felt a bit sad as well as the 6 month journey from September was finally coming to an end. When we were doing class I felt everyone was really happy and I was happy too but I was a bit scared because I really pressured myself to make the last show a good one as I’m sure many dancers can relate to. The director Chris Moore sat us all down after the class and thanked us for all our hard work, I really appreciated this as praise can sometimes get overlooked during a tour because everybody is so busy; it was really refreshing to receive some positives! He also made framed photographs for all the cast members of their best performance photo taken during the tour. Before show started lots of people were taking pictures and seemed to be very relaxed, this made me very relaxed and encouraged me to just enjoy our last show together. During the show I think it all went well for me, the pas de deux was one of our best compared to other performances. It was sad but also a relief to check off each section as ‘the last time’ during the performance especially during the final pas de deux where it truly felt like the end.

List : Make a list of all the things that come to your mind about the day. Things you saw? Felt? Did?

During the day it began to dawn on me that a lack of performance time was coming up fast, I was happy when I thought about having a rest but I knew that I would have to go back to helping out at college and be poor again as I won’t start work again until September ... there’s only so many times you can have beans on toast! I also remembered that when I’m dancing I feel a bit lost and empty as I really miss being on stage and performing for an audience.

Evaluation : What did you think went well? What worked? Did you learn anything, discover anything, and notice things to avoid?

I thought overall the whole performance went very well, everyone seemed happy about it as well. And also all the lifts and partner work felt strong for me. I still practiced the pas de deux before the show; I learned that this can really clarify where you are in your body (on your leg, pulled up properly, warm enough, etc.) and although I had done so many shows I learned that there are always ways to improve and just because it’s the final performance it should still grow and improve. During performance the director was filming the performance but I found that I should avoid focusing on adding extras into the work in an effort to make the show better just because he is filming but instead to remain disciplined and concentrate on what I had made work through rehearsals and all the other shows.

What if? : What could have happened? What would you love to happen, what would you hate to and happen. Use your imagination, you can be amazing!

Despite it being very vain, I would love it if the director of a big ballet company such as The Royal Ballet or American Ballet Theatre came to watch our performance and after the show came backstage to congratulate me and to offer me a contract to start right away. On another note I would love it if the one company member that has been horrible to work with this season finally got his comeuppance when the director tells him that he can never work for this company again! I would hate it if I had had a terrible show for the final performance and the director approaches me and says “you are not good enough to ever work for me or anybody else ever again, do us all a favour and retire, I’ve told every other director not to hire you in the future because you aren’t good enough for this industry” that is the stuff of nightmares!

Another View

I am going to write from the perspective of my colleague and best friend. I was always rubbish at getting up in the morning but I had to be up for when Kazuka could drive me to the theatre, it was very kind of her to give me a lift; I would have gotten up at 1 or 2 if I could have done! When I got to the theatre I knew that Kazuka was playing Cinderella and having partnered her for 5 years was once again saddened at the thought of not being able to dance opposite her as the Prince, it still gets me very frustrated that just because I’m shorter than average, a far less able dancer should have the opportunity to dance a principal role over me, especially when I’m in the wings during his variation watching him kill it. I always just get on with it, however, as being professional is always part of my approach to work ‘class and dignity’ is my motto! I was really happy to have finished the tour as the show was really starting to tire and I had really run out of new ways of using my comic character to make the audience respond.

from first hand testimony.

Overall this day was a real landmark day as it was the final day of a very long tour, which in turn is a point of learning in itself, and this task has helped me reflect on my personal conduct throughout my work; it has helped me to understand my colleagues’ feelings and attitudes towards their work too.